I just finished Philippians this morning, which I wish could say is a huge achievement, but it's only 4 chapters. But regardless of it's length, I was extremely blessed by the entire book! Paul was exceptionally Spirit-filled, but I enjoyed reading this more friendly letter, more so than some of his others. His encouragement is inspiring enough, but when you put it in context and realize he was in a Roman prison at that time? It's just amazing.
As I started my day, I woke up anxious. We are supposed to find out some news this afternoon that could change things in a big way for us (don't jump the gun, we're not pregnant or anything related to that). We are praying for a yes, and we realize that we serve a "yes God". But, our yes God might say "yes" to something better for us - which is exciting in the long term, but disappointing in the short-term. We're striving for God's best, though, not just the best we can currently see.
Then I made a mistake. I'm really bad about starting my day with my phone - Luke leaves for work, I curl back up in bed and check my texts and social media updates. I've been trying to dive into my Bible reading FIRST, but I keep getting distracted. And you guys know as well as I do that there's not much more stressful than social media. I spent about 15 minutes checking Facebook/Instagram/Twitter and I was even more frustrated. I got up, tied on my running shoes and tried to run it off (and by "run" I mean walk kinda fast with a hop every 15 steps while I'm on the phone with mom) - but no such luck. By this point, my insides are all tangled up and getting tighter by the minute, and the 5 rolos I had for breakfast began to seem like another bad life choice.
So I finally sat down with my Bible. I know it's a foreign concept anymore, but I sat down at our kitchen table with my paper Bible, a pink highlighter and my Jesus Journal, ready for something - anything. I picked up in Philippians 3, where I had left off yesterday. There's something about just reading the Word that brings such peace, isn't there? It was amazing. then I read Philippians 4, and my mind was blown.
How many times have we read Philippians 4:6-7?
Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving,
let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses
all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I've probably read it a million times, and we see it every where. It's preached on often (along with the rest of Philippians 4), talked about daily and our "go-to" chapter when things are tough. But the Lord revealed something to me today that I hadn't noticed before. It says that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds. If we have the peace of God guarding our hearts, that means that anything that contradicts peace is an attack . Anxiety, depression, anger, frustration - it's all an attack.
As humans, we are so extremely guilty of meditating in our emotions. We want to feel everything, we want to drown in every pool of emotion that we can - it's human nature. Whether it's feeling in love, or feeling depression, or feeling anger we want to FEEL ALL OF THE EMOTIONS ALL OF THE TIME - that is not okay. Our feelings are only physical, and we need to learn to separate the flesh from the Spirit. While we're human, and we can't help what we feel, we can choose not to dwell in our feelings. We need to recognize that many of these feelings that we want to claim as our own, are just attacks from the devil - and we help him win, when we choose to dwell in them.
This morning, I let myself get upset over fleshly things, and I let myself meditate in them. I didn't choose to wear my guard that has been offered to me, but I chose my anxiety. Step 1 in Philippians? Be anxious for nothing. Step 2? Share with God what's on your heart. Step 3? Through Jesus, we can wear the guard of peace, offered freely to us. This time, I'm keeping my guard up.